“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“When you say “yes” to others, make sure you aren’t saying “no” to yourself.” Paulo Coehlo
When you get stuck in the habit of trying to please other people pretty much all the time then it can have a sneaky and negative effect.
Not only on you but also on the people around you.
Because as you try to please:
You put on a mask and try to guess what to do while getting anxious and stressed.
You sometimes feel taken advantage off by others who use your people pleasing habit and you often feel out of tune with what you yourself deep down want.
It can also have an unintended effect on other people as they may see through your mask, start to feel your inner discomfort and stress themselves and get confused or upset because they sense you are not being honest and straightforward with them.
So being a people pleaser is often an even worse choice that one may at first think.
“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s so easy to get stuck in it. To let it hold you back.
I have been there many times in my life.
The fear has, for example, held me back from:
Trying new things. It has held me back from trying something new for lunch or a new hobby because I feared I would have a bad experience or fail. And so I stuck to my usual routine and choices.
Asking someone out for a date. Because I didn’t want to risk being rejected or looking like a fool in eyes of other people.
Living my life like I deep down wanted to. The fear has held me in its grip and calmly explained to me that it would be best and most comfortable for me to stay where I am and to do nothing new. And many times I have sadly believed the fear and gotten myself stuck in a place where I honestly deep down didn’t want to be.